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Candy vs. Bribri: psyop still on
The ‘playbook’ is as subtle as an elephant stampeding through a hallway—or a CIA agent waving a neon sign abroad.KL
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American intelligence agencies only appear efficient because they can throw unlimited cash at every problem. When it comes to actual effectiveness—or return on investment—they’re an international embarrassment. Mountains of money are spent for results that barely justify a shrug.
And yet, our friends across the Atlantic still haven’t grasped the obvious: torture gets you what you want to hear, payments get you what you want to hear—you get what they think you want to hear, so that it stops or so that its doesn’t stop.
The CIA is a bloated bureaucracy par excellence. Every action is dictated by manuals; every step must be ticked off like a grocery list. Predictable? Absolutely. Inept? Even more so. Spotting their agents abroad is almost a spectator sport.
The contrast couldn’t be starker: European intelligence, centuries-old and forged in military tradition, versus the CIA—a civilian outfit founded by Wall Street lawyers less than eighty years ago. George Lautner’s cult comedy Les Barbouzes, with dialogues by Michel Audiard, nails this far better than any policy briefing ever could: a brilliant farce where incompetence and bureaucracy are not just flaws, but the main characters. Besides ridiculous assassinations schemes, and the Chinese, all ‘em Chinese.
If a painfully obvious American sidles up and, like clockwork, fires off two questions and then follows with a statement that conveniently confirms your answers—repeat this ritual three times—feel free to ask if they did their ‘intelligence training’ on a farm.
And if you get an invitation to a meeting in a four-star hotel room just a stone’s throw from a major newspaper and the CIA’s top-floor lair, don’t dawdle: call the DGSI immediately. Because nothing screams ‘amateur hour’ quite like predictable American spycraft.
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CIA tactics aren’t just confined to Langley—they’re recycled endlessly in the private sector, like bad ideas on a corporate assembly line.
Candace Owens, for instance, has been shoved into a manipulation so clumsy it’s almost comical: the goal is simple—apply just enough pressure, and she’ll implode spectacularly, discrediting herself without anyone else lifting a finger.
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